I am not sure how many of you read the article published in the Newsletter for the Society for the Perpetuation of the Desert Bred Saluki entitled "Agility! Try it, you'll like it!", but I did and I have a few comments to make. The author's premise is, agility is fun, builds confidence in Salukis and is something Salukis like to do. I beg to differ!
Several years ago I was forced to participate in an 8 week agility course with the author. (She had the good grace to mention me in her article!) There are aspects of agility that are amusing, and I will detail them throughout the article, but for the most part, agility requires a Saluki to pay attention to her owner and follow directions. This goes against all the rules of being a BITCH. My owner is supposed to follow my rules!
The first thing the class instructor taught us was the different jumps. Girls, jumps are fun and they do provide quite a variety of them for you to go over. They have broad jumps, high jumps, jumping through windows (good practice for possible escape routes from unpleasant places), jumping through hoops, etc. I liked jumping a lot, but I didn't want my owner to get too complacent so every once in a while I would stop dead just before the jump and watch my owner go over it and splat down on the ground when she hit the end of the lead. Talk about fun! Did she ever look dumb hitting the ground face first. Make sure you perfect the disgusted, disgruntled Saluki "look" and use it to full effect.
The next thing the instructor taught us were things she called "ramp" obstacles. They consist of a ramp up to the obstacle and
then a ramp down to the ground. Most of these are great fun and I did them all the time. There is the dogwalk, which has a narrow ramp up to a balance beam that is about 3 1/2 feet in the air and then a narrow ramp down. The only hitch with this is they don't want you to run, or even trot across the balance beam. What kind of fun is it if you can't demonstrate your superior agility and balancing skills by running across this thing? The only thing I could figure is that the plebeian masses are not nearly as coordinated or skilled as I and they geared the class to their level.
Next is the A frame wall. This is TERRIFIC! You gracefully leap up this wall that is 7' high at the peak and then you can balance on the top and view your world forever. Not surprisingly, my owner had to put her two cents worth in and insist that I come down from this great perch. You can never tell what an owner is thinking. First she insists I go up the A frame. When I cooperate and find out she may have half a brain in her head, she blows it by insisting I come down.
The absolute WORST ramp obstacle is something they call a teeter/totter. It looks like a simple little balance beam and it's not even high off the ground. But, ladies, beware! You get halfway across the thing and it mysteriously changes direction on you. When you start off you are going uphill and halfway through, up becomes down and down becomes up and the thing leaps up behind you trying to bite you in the fanny. It's horrible. Absolutely under no circumstances should you attempt this
obstacle! Only my quick reflexes and my ability to jump 12' straight up in the air saved me from certain maiming.
My next article will complete my analysis of Agility. As I
stated at the beginning, there are a few aspects of Agility that
a well adjusted Saluki bitch will enjoy, but beware of being too
cooperative!
Sara Sue Luki, who holds a Master's degree in Bitching,
has an opinion on nearly everything and intends to share them
with us in each issue.
c1996 Innovative Internet
Updated: January 13, 1997